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Monday, 28 February 2011

  • The Things Dreams Are Made Of

    Hello Almost Spring!!  I love you dearly...even if Winter isn't over yet, and we are in for more cold weather...I can dream about ya, can't I?

                              

    I love how you tease me with your days of sunshine and warmth that are interspersed between days of cold and gloom.  The promise of you...the promise of green...is just around the corner! 

                                   

    Almost time to throw open the windows and let clean fresh air sweep through the house!  It's a time that makes me furious to clean...and sort...and organize anything I can get my hands on!  To that Spring, I tip my hat to you...there is not much that can put that desire in me!

                                         

    To my friend Snow...I know that you may not be completely gone yet.  If you get an opportunity to strut your stuff one more time, I accept that, and will love you for what you are.  You also, are beautiful and majestic...and you make me smile!  Unlike Spring, you make me want to settle in, cozy up by the fire, and be lazy. 

                                         

    Time marches on...winter turns into spring...which of course lends itself to the golden days of summer.  More lazy days...but this time in the great outdoors...swimming, family vacations and working in the garden.

                                             

                    

    Almost Spring, you have made me smile...made my heart leap for joy!  More memories await me and my loved ones this year...and I can hardly wait!

     

    TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven...

                                         

     

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

  • Ministry or Agenda?

     

    So, why did YOU sign up for Xanga?  Did you want a soap box to voice your opinion?  A place to meet new people?  Because your friends did?  To see if you could become "famous" in the blogging world?  And I'm sure there have been some skunks who have signed up with less than noble intentions.  But maybe, just maybe, you did it to be an encourager to others.  Because you thought maybe you might make a difference to someone, sometime.  I call that, a "ministry".  Bet a lot of you didn't have a clue you had a ministry, did you?  But you do...a very special, one of a kind, ministry.  Now, having a ministry is very different than having an agenda.  If you behave or speak in a certain way to get something you want, well, that's having an agenda.  I'm not saying that having an agenda is always wrong...because it's not.  But it's always self-serving.

    Having a Xanga ministry...now that's a whole 'nother story.  It involves heart...usually the opening up and the pouring out of said heart...in a rather vulnerable way.  It's taking a chance to try and make a difference.  Sometimes it involves trying to get someone to think through what they are saying, and be accountable for their words.  Other times it may involve trying to get someone NOT to think so much...but to trust and have faith, or not to over scrutinize.  It means going alongside another, trying to help strengthen them when they are weak.  And sometimes it means listening to the heart of a person, and not their words.  It means forgiving, and being forgiven.  And always, it means being a friend...treating others in the way you would like to be treated.  You know...the Golden Rule.

    And don't get me wrong, I believe in the right to be heard...to speak your opinion.  I am voicing mine at this very moment.  But I believe JUST as strongly that voicing your opinion should be done with honor and respect.  And that there is no place in the grown up world for name calling and mudslinging.  That happens on the playground... though it shouldn't be allowed to happen THERE, either.  Children need to taught respect, loyalty, honor, and compassion.  Unfortunately, these are hard to find in many homes nowadays, and that's why it happens on the playground (and may I add...online).

    If you happen to be one of those who have chosen to be here more for a ministry than an agenda, I want to encourage you to endure.  To take this path as long as you feel led to be here.  You don't have to be "thick skinned"...in fact, that is a contradiction to the ministry of encouragement!  But know this...you are not alone.  You have kindred spirits here.  Let's stand together, strengthening each other...and continuing to make a difference. 

     

     

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

  • One Flu Over The Coo-Coo's Nest.....

     
    (I apoligize in advance for blogging about the flu)
     
     
    It all started with that small ache in the pit of my stomach.  Just nagging at me, keeping me from diagnosing what the real problem was.  Could I have eaten something that didn't agree with me?  Or perhaps that Advil I took at bedtime was bothering my stomach. 
     
    What time IS it?  Only 10:45 pm!!!???  A lot of folks haven't even been to bed yet, and you are already awake.  Wide Awake.  Oooo, I think this is getting more serious.  I'll try eating some crackers...that helps with nausea during pregnancy. 
     
    Pregnancy.  This feeling reminds me of morning sickness.  That was like having the flu for three solid months.  Flu.  Flu?  Could this be the flu?  Great.  I bet I have the flu.  Cold.  So cold.  Maybe that's why I was so cold when I went to bed.  
     
    If only I could throw up, I know I would feel better.  Why don't you just gag yourself.  Then you can empty your stomach and feel better.  Gag me with a spoon.  Why do people say that?  Why did I used to say that?  It's not funny. 
     
    I need a throw up bowl.  Better get one.  A big one.  Make it a bucket.  Pepto.  The big pink bottle.  Are you going to be my friend or my foe?  Friend-if you keep my crackers down.  Foe-if they come back up, along with my dinner.  Gag.  Gag me with Pepto. 
     
    Why does time stand still when I am sick?  Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.  Will this night ever end?
     
    I feel like a crazed woman.  My eyes tell me this is so.  I see George Bailey in them.
     
    Why won't that tune leave my head!!?  I keep thinking of the same one line of a song, over and over and over and over.  Sleep, if I sleep maybe I will wake up feeling better.
     
    What was I thinking?  The dreams of the sick are the dreams of the tortured and demented.  Must stay awake, must stay awake.
     
    Tossing, turning, head hanging in bucket.  Head sleeping in bucket.  Ooooo, better sit up, I think the big one is coming.  Yes, yes, I think we have lift off.  UP from the depths.  Very loudly.  Into my throw up bucket.  And into my bucket.  And into my bucket.  Will this ever stop?  
     
    Pepto.  Why did I ever think you were a good idea?  I never want to see you again.  Especially in my bucket.  Evil Pepto.
     
    Husband is running.  He can hear me from the other end of the house?  He must have good ears.  Or I must be louder than I thought. 
     
    Hot.  House a-fire hot.  Need cold wash rag...NOW.  Ahhhhh.  Relief.  Sweet relief.  Blessed relief.  Deep sleep.  No more coo-coo thoughts.  No more coo-coo dreams.  
     
    At least for the moment.
     
     
     

Friday, 15 January 2010

  • What A Gift

    As I quietly sit here thinking and writing, I have an inner voice telling me that I don't have time for this.  And that is true...I have a second coat of Kilz to add to some woodwork before my father in-law comes over to do some painting.
     
    But today as I have been reading my xanga subscriptions, the yearning and desire to connect here again is strong.  Is there anyone out there that would notice if I came back?  Many have left xanga for good.  Many will have forgotten me...granny who?  Many may just not care.  Perhaps a few would be glad to see me again.
     
    Xanga takes time and work...unless one wants it to be all about oneself.  I don't.  I think that may be one of the reasons I haven't been back for a while...for me personally, it's a commitment. 
     
    Another reason would be lack of creativity...what to say?  I have never used my blog to just post random things about myself or my day.  Not that this is a bad thing...it's just not how I have used my blog.  I used it to tell stories that I felt need to be told.  To encourage.  To share pictures of family with old and new friends.  And sometimes, to spout my opinion....a girl's gotta do that every once in a while.
     
    Regardless of who reads this....hi.  I have missed you.  I may not be very inspirational or creative, but I've got some things that I want to say.  I may not get around xanga as much, but I am here.  That being said......
     
    Hi everyone!!!  Yesterday was a milestone in my life....it was my 30th anniversary!  I should say wedding anniversary, because it could have been the 30th anniversary of the day I first spoke Klingon.  Or the 30th day in a row that I have worn this pair of socks. 
     
    I have a gift in my life, and it is my sweet, romantic, sentimental hubby!  He hasn't always been sweet, romantic, nor sentimental.  He has grown and changed and developed into that guy.  I have a fella that many, MANY times a day will burst out in song..singing sweet ditties to me.  Not to be confused with foolish ditties...Mike's ditties are never foolish!  And I often break into song and answer him back.  Any of you who know us personally may have experienced that.  We don't even think about it, but it can seem rather odd.  One of the things I love about that guy!
     
    Mike is a servant too.  He is always looking for ways to serve me...at times he puts me to shame!  He wants to fix me food, he takes my dishes to the sink, he rubs my feet, my neck or my back.  He makes runs to town when I have cravings...tacos here I come!  He makes the bed...though not up to my standards, I appreciate it very much!  He does the dishes...again, bless his heart, not up to my standards.  When I am out of town he keeps the kitchen tidy...but not "clean".  The dish cloths are not changed.  The sinks would not be scoured.  The countertops and back of the sink would not get wiped....ladies, you get my drift.  If I were to die, he would probably join me soon due to ptomaine poisoning! 
     
    But most of all, he loves me.  Unconditionally.  In all this world, other than Jesus Christ, the one thing I can count on, the one thing I do not question...is his love for me.  It hasn't always been that way.  We have had our troubles, and there were times when I did question his love for me.  But no more.  Never EVER will I question his love and devotion to me.  Even though I am much more soft and ample than I was when we married.  Even though my hair grew gray then silver much earlier than his (he would die if I colored my hair...says it would not be me.).  Even though I have an eye that is tending to droop (along with many other body parts that are drooping!). 
     
    I think we both have truly learned to love each other and accept each other just the way we are.  We "get" each other.  We enjoy each other's company...and we better, because he works from home and we are together almost all the time!  He is an awesome man who loves the Lord, his family, his wife.  He is kind and generous.  Romantic...WAY more than I am.  He makes me laugh...and I make him laugh.  He thinks I'm adorable...and he tells me so.
     
    Life has been good these past 30 years, even with it's ups and downs.  We are finally at the age where we are experiencing the fruit of our labors.  And seeing the fruit of our love become our legacy.  What a gift.
     
                                        
         
     
     
     
     

Sunday, 24 May 2009

  • An Ache In My Soul

    As I read a headline today, I literally cringed, and I felt an ache in my heart...in my very soul.  "Mother accused of drowning her four year old."  Tears form in my eyes just writing this.  I never read the details on those types of stories, and if one comes on the television news, I mute it or turn the channel.  One reason why....this hits too close to home.
     
    Another reason is that I think my heart has become extra tender since I became a grandmother.  My oldest grandchild, Faith, will be three in June.  I adore spending time with her, especially since she is learning so much and able to communicate more everyday...what she feels, how she thinks, what she would like to do...or NOT do.  And for the first time in her young life, she gave a name to one of her toys....Lumpy Toodles. 
     
    Three isn't that far from four........
     
    I also have 2 grandsons...Clarke is two, and Micah will be two in August.  And I have a fourth grandchild due in June.  These precious babies mean the world to me.  I would give my life for them, and can't imagine life without them.  My very heart would be torn apart if anything happened to them.
     
    Hearts torn asunder........
     
    Our local and national news has had stories in the past year about other young children dying at the hands of parents, parent's boyfriends, or babysitters.  Each time I hear these opening lines on the news, I gasp, and I want to burst into tears.
     
    It's not that I don't understand being in a place of supreme frustration with a baby or very young child, because I do....... 
     
    I understand a murderer........
     
    When my dear sweet daughter Myklin was an infant, she cried all the time and she rarely slept.  I was also tending to a two year old...a two year old is already a plate full.  We had moved away from our home town, lived in a basement apartment, and between having one car and a husband who worked two jobs, I felt trapped and isolated. 
     
    I didn't know it at the time, but I also was experiencing postpartum depression, and there were many days I stayed in my robe doing nothing around the apartment except tending little ones and watching soap operas.  The dishes, the laundry, and the wet diapers on the floor (I didn't even put them in the trash can), all began to pile up around me. 
     
    One particularly bad night, Myklin was crying and Mike was working late.  I remember imagining banging her dear little head against the wall.  Obviously I didn't....but I had the urge.  And it scared me.  It wasn't long before my husband walked in, and I shoved the baby in his arms and took shelter in my bed, crying my eyes out.
     
    My in-laws worried that I would hurt the children....but actually, I was more likely to hurt myself, than to hurt them.  It was only by the grace of God that we made it through....that, and the help of a dear lady who decided to love me to death.  She was older than me, but one of her kids was around the same age as my oldest.  She would call and talk, pick up my kids to watch for an afternoon, bring meals over, let Mike and I have a night alone, or come get me and take me to her house to visit.  And she prayed for me.  Cindy was a God send...I didn't even know it at the time. 
     
    It makes me wonder....was there someone who could have reached out to this mom....who could have given her a helping hand, or even just a listening ear?  Was there a Christian person in her life that could have been praying for her?  Was there a husband who could see this was a mom-bomb, about to explode?  What would drive a mom to kill a four year old child?  What drove THIS mom?  Obviously she has many problems...mentally, spiritually, perhaps even physically. 
     
    I don't know about you, but I want to stand in the gap for those too weak...for whatever reasons...to stand and "fight" on their own.  Everyone I know has been put in my life for a reason.  Everyone I meet this very day has also been put into my path for a reason.  Perhaps I am not able to help many of them in a tangible sort of way.  But I can help in another very real way....through prayer.  I'm not talking about intense, intercessory prayer...although God might lead me to do that.  I am talking about bullet prayers, for the people we meet, and for the friends that we think about.  And yes, lending a real helping hand when the need arises. 
     
    Only God knows what really is going on in their lives........
     
    I think many of us are too busy in our own little worlds, too worried about our own lives to SEE, much less to DO anything to help others...I mean REALLY help others.  Stories like these serve to give me a good kick in my mundane...man, I always need a good kick there.
     
    This story and others like it are very distressing for me.........
     
    "Except for the grace of God, there go I."
     
     
     

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go_granny_go

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    • Name: Mrs. C
    • Member Since: 2/27/2006

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About Me

  • I am a homemaker who, along with my sweet husband and the Lord, raised three godly kids. I homeschooled them for 18 years...a drop in the bucket for some moms. My nest is empty now, but my heart is even more full. I have five adorable grandbabies that I see as often as I can. Life is good!! My heart's desire is to serve my Lord Jesus Christ, and to be open and aware of the opportunities He places in my life. My hope and prayer is that my blogging can be an encouragement to someone, somewhere.

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Chatboard (12)

  • mkbrasil
    I'm so glad to have you on my team! Have yourself a wonderful day! And remember, navy blue and black are two different colors (LOL) . . . ((Hugs)) Debbie
  • anonymous
    The shooting was the church shooting in Fort Worth Texas in 1999. She was a junior in high school and we had only been in Fort Worth for 1 year. It was a really hard time for her and something God has used in her life. I think she will always grieve though, and I really think thats okay. Thanks
  • anonymous
    Hey Beth, Thanks for going by Shaela's site. It is funny what you said about all the old ladies coming by her site!! I think it would be great if she and your daughter become friends!
  • Joggers_girl
    Hey I figured it out. thanks for your help. :o) TTUL, Sarah
  • anonymous
    Thanks Beth, I did go to Myklin's site and went to her webpage for here book and I am gonna get on to check it out. I would love if we could get her for a speaker sometime as well. I think Weatherford is about 2 hours from her. I am getting ahead of myself! :) Anyway I will order her book. Have
  • anonymous
    Your daughter wrote a book! That is really great. You will to give me the website once you get it up cause I would like to find out about it.
  • anonymous
    Hi girl! How is go-granny doing anyway. I think I saw somewhere that your name is Beth. Is that right? So can I call ya Beth then? You can call me Cynthia if ya want. By the way, when is Myklin's baby due? Hope I spelled her name right. I can be really random at times! Hope you are having a
  • mibashful61
    enjoy the summer and may jesus bless you in every way love shelly.
  • jeanimoo
    Hi There! Thank you for excepting my invitation ~smile~ Looking forward to sharing and everything... Have a nice day and everything! Hugs
  • go_granny_go
    Wonder why I never check this thing.....I even forget it's here....