As I read a headline today, I literally cringed, and I felt an ache in my heart...in my very soul. "Mother accused of drowning her four year old." Tears form in my eyes just writing this. I never read the details on those types of stories, and if one comes on the television news, I mute it or turn the channel. One reason why....this hits too close to home. Another reason is that I think my heart has become extra tender since I became a grandmother. My oldest grandchild, Faith, will be three in June. I adore spending time with her, especially since she is learning so much and able to communicate more everyday...what she feels, how she thinks, what she would like to do...or NOT do. And for the first time in her young life, she gave a name to one of her toys....Lumpy Toodles. Three isn't that far from four........ I also have 2 grandsons...Clarke is two, and Micah will be two in August. And I have a fourth grandchild due in June. These precious babies mean the world to me. I would give my life for them, and can't imagine life without them. My very heart would be torn apart if anything happened to them. Hearts torn asunder........ Our local and national news has had stories in the past year about other young children dying at the hands of parents, parent's boyfriends, or babysitters. Each time I hear these opening lines on the news, I gasp, and I want to burst into tears. It's not that I don't understand being in a place of supreme frustration with a baby or very young child, because I do....... I understand a murderer........ When my dear sweet daughter Myklin was an infant, she cried all the time and she rarely slept. I was also tending to a two year old...a two year old is already a plate full. We had moved away from our home town, lived in a basement apartment, and between having one car and a husband who worked two jobs, I felt trapped and isolated. I didn't know it at the time, but I also was experiencing postpartum depression, and there were many days I stayed in my robe doing nothing around the apartment except tending little ones and watching soap operas. The dishes, the laundry, and the wet diapers on the floor (I didn't even put them in the trash can), all began to pile up around me. One particularly bad night, Myklin was crying and Mike was working late. I remember imagining banging her dear little head against the wall. Obviously I didn't....but I had the urge. And it scared me. It wasn't long before my husband walked in, and I shoved the baby in his arms and took shelter in my bed, crying my eyes out. My in-laws worried that I would hurt the children....but actually, I was more likely to hurt myself, than to hurt them. It was only by the grace of God that we made it through....that, and the help of a dear lady who decided to love me to death. She was older than me, but one of her kids was around the same age as my oldest. She would call and talk, pick up my kids to watch for an afternoon, bring meals over, let Mike and I have a night alone, or come get me and take me to her house to visit. And she prayed for me. Cindy was a God send...I didn't even know it at the time. It makes me wonder....was there someone who could have reached out to this mom....who could have given her a helping hand, or even just a listening ear? Was there a Christian person in her life that could have been praying for her? Was there a husband who could see this was a mom-bomb, about to explode? What would drive a mom to kill a four year old child? What drove THIS mom? Obviously she has many problems...mentally, spiritually, perhaps even physically. I don't know about you, but I want to stand in the gap for those too weak...for whatever reasons...to stand and "fight" on their own. Everyone I know has been put in my life for a reason. Everyone I meet this very day has also been put into my path for a reason. Perhaps I am not able to help many of them in a tangible sort of way. But I can help in another very real way....through prayer. I'm not talking about intense, intercessory prayer...although God might lead me to do that. I am talking about bullet prayers, for the people we meet, and for the friends that we think about. And yes, lending a real helping hand when the need arises. Only God knows what really is going on in their lives........ I think many of us are too busy in our own little worlds, too worried about our own lives to SEE, much less to DO anything to help others...I mean REALLY help others. Stories like these serve to give me a good kick in my mundane...man, I always need a good kick there. This story and others like it are very distressing for me......... "Except for the grace of God, there go I." | 
